This past weekend I had the honor of attending a beautiful wedding between my good friend from college and her new husband. It was a new experience for me. The only weddings I had ever attended were both my parents’ second weddings and one as the hired entertainment. This was a dear friend of mine who was my age getting married to the love of her life.
Not growing up within a religion, it was quite eye-opening to see such a religious ceremony and hear significant reference to God in every speech and comment spoken aloud. It was fascinating to see how identical the couple’s ideals and faith were, as well as their families. It got me thinking. That’s something I have never considered a deal-breaker for a relationship. As long as we had similar values, I figured our theories of how the universe came to be and who’s counting didn’t need to match that specifically. But seeing my friend exchanging her vows in full confidence that they saw the world the same way made me realize how important that can be. Of course there are exceptions but, in general, if you both walk by the same faith, your values and perspective will naturally be more in line with each other.
As a single person, is that part of what isn’t working? This isn’t necessarily a question of heightening standards but do I need to specify them more? Looking back, it’s easier to see where miscommunication occurred and what flags had gone waved and missed (or ignored). Could finding someone of a similar faith (or lack of faith as some would say) circumvent a lot of those “flags?” Maybe? Maybe not?
This experience really got my wheels turning about what I want in a relationship and what my “standards” or “requirements” are. There will always be compromise in a relationship but where are the boundaries? What values or characteristics should we not budge? I think the most beautiful thing about our world is our differences. We expand our minds only when we look further than what we know so it’s difficult to converse with myself about reigning in the “Mr. Right” guidelines and demanding more aspects of a person be more like myself.
They say you'll know when it's right but it's hard to trust that. There is love out there for everyone so it has to be a matter of time for all of us and this wedding was a lovely reminder of that. We should never stop loving and hoping we will find someone who loves us just as much, no matter how many people and relationships say otherwise. My mind is still reeling but I see a discovery on its way, even if it isn’t clear yet.
How do you feel about relationships of the same or different faith and what have your experiences been? Let's talk about it in the comments below!
In the meantime, we’ll keep loving and being loved!
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